HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR PUPPY
Remove film from box and load camera. Remove box from
puppy's mouth and throw in the garbage. Remove puppy
from Garbage bag and wipe coffee grounds off muzzle.
Choose suitable background for your picture. Mount and
focus camera. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return
to camera. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on hands
and knees. Focus with one hand and fend off the puppy with
the other. Get Kleenex and clean nose print off of lens.
Take camera case from the puppy's mouth, place out of reach.
Throw the cat outside and put peroxide on scratch on puppy's
nose. Put ashtray and magazines back on the coffee table.
Get puppy's attention by holding a squeaky toy above your head.
Now replace glasses back on your face and fish camera out from
under the couch. Stand up in time to grab puppy by the scruff
of neck and say "NO OUTSIDE NOW". Fix a drink, lean back,
relax and resolve to call that photographer "first thing in
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